Mindfulness: Easier said than done!

In the past couple years, through therapy and many changes in my life (new home, marriage, baby, etc.) I have become more aware of how I treat people and how others treat me and how this affects everything in my life. I believe awareness is the hardest step in making changes for the better and breaking the bad cycles we have been taught by our parents and that our parents had taught to them.

Here is the definition of mindfulness: Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

I try living my life now in the active state of mindfulness. This does not mean I do not still make mistakes along the way. What is does mean is that if I do make a mistake, I am now almost instantly aware of it and can correct any wrongdoing I might have created. (IE getting upset about things out of my control) Being mindful does not mean you have to be perfect. We are human- we make mistakes. The important thing is that we rectify our mistakes and let people know when we are sorry when we have hurt them. Sometimes apologies are not for the other person as much as they are for yourself so that you can both move on.

I've recently dealt with a lot of struggles in life: adjusting to being a mom (it's hard folks!!!), working on my finances to figure out how to afford daycare and budget better (this is so hard too!!!), working a job where I support two programs and trying to give both programs my all though I always feel I am jilting the other, dealing with my dad's health issues and working with my family to constantly support each other through these health struggles, dealing with migraines and daily headaches (this gets sooooo old!!!)....the list goes on and on.

And through all this, I have tried to stay so positive. But hey, I am human, I am weak and I struggle to stay positive at times too. Sometimes life wins and knocks me down. But a lot of times I win and I can be the change I need in life to be happier, healthier and more positive. I just have to practice being mindful which includes letting go of judgments and loving unconditionally.

So while I write this blog, it is almost therapeutic for me because it helps me realize that when I am feeling weak or hurting, it is because I am letting others actions make me feel that way. I have to stop this cycle and realize that the only person losing out in this situation is ME. I am learning to let go of control but at the same time, not let other's thoughts or views of me control how I feel about myself. I know we all have money/health/job problems we deal with day in and day out. We look to the person next to us and think they have it so easy and why can't our lives be more like that. But in reality, this person that you think has it so easy, is secretly battling their own struggles and demons. It's just that no one talks about it because no one wants to be perceived as weak or feel shame.

But I don't consider talking about problems as being weak..... I consider it to be so BRAVE. When we share our struggles, we relate to each other better. I wish you all mindfulness in this journey called life. Remember, treat others as you would like to be treated and love without conditions. We are all here on this journey together so let's help make it easier on each other instead of harder.

Until next time....xoxo Mel