Migraines: The Destroyers of Happiness

If you know me well, you know I have suffered from migraines since I was 9 years old. I can still remember the first migraine I experienced. It was at my uncle's wedding reception... I remember curling in a ball in a chair in the back of the room. The music was so loud and my head was pounding out of control. It was horrible, and for a child, it was a "why me?!" moment. I could tell relatives felt so bad for me as they would constantly check on me but no one could help. All I could do was let it run its course. I even got sick in the car on the way home...brutal memories but inevitably,  the beginning of the end for me.

A lot of people silently suffer from the pain of migraines. I empathize with them all. Because of migraines I have missed lifetime events in my friends and family's lives. I've also missed countless hours of work and spent many days writhing in pain in my bed with no relief. Heck, I even got fired from a job for missing due to my migraines. It's hard when people don't understand or don't "believe" you. I can whole-heartedly say that if I have missed something for a migraine, I wasn't using it as an excuse to get out of things. That's just not me. Before I had my first migraine, I was a student with perfect attendance. As you can imagine, I will never be a perfect attendance kinda gal again unless I find a cure for these migraines!

It's tough living with the constant pain. And of course everyone thinks they have a cure for me. It's really sweet that people care and I love hearing if something worked for someone else that I might have not tried. I do know that I have literally tried everything under the sun: drink more water, cut out caffeine, workout, go to the chiropractor, get shots in the back of my head, get Botox, try acupuncture, try yoga, etc etc. Not to mention ALL the BAZILLIONS of medications I have tried over the years. Sometimes I would get a little relief, but nothing ever stuck.

Now here I am at 31 and still suffering from almost a daily headache. Migraines run in my family- my grandmother has them and her mother had them also. My grandmother will be 87 this March and she STILL suffers from migraines. I can't tell you how much that scares the shit out of me. I could possibly be in for 50+ more years of dealing with migraines. Insert sad face HERE. Dealing with the headache pain was one of the reasons I was not even sure if I wanted my own kids. I know you are not supposed to live life worrying about the what ifs, but the last thing I would EVER want to do in life is give my children migraines. It's a tough course in life to travel and I wouldn't wish them on ANYONE.

I must say, though, it is true that children bring out the best in you. I am happy to say that even though I still get a daily ache in my head, my migraines has gone down quite a bit as of recently. (I used to get at least one bad stay-in-your-bed-all-day migraine a month.) Even when my head is giving me a fight for my sanity, all I have to do is look into Aiden's beautiful sweet eyes and the pain truly melts away. I knew if I chose to raise children it would be difficult and I would need a lot of support from my husband, especially on days I would be stuck in bed in pain. I am blessed to say I have an army of support in helping to raise Aiden so I don't have to feel guilty when my head hurts and I can't be 100% myself. Now if only I could find a cure for my migraines that doesn't involve chopping off my head! ;)
  

Dancing is fun....anywhere!!

I thought about making my next blog serious (past struggles) or special (sharing those wonderful moments in life) but instead, I totally settled on a more fun topic: dancing!!!

I love to dance. I might not always have the best rhythm, but shaking my hips around and feeling the beat can always put me in the best of moods. I remember being young, just turning 18 and finally being old enough to get into clubs. Me and my friends would get all jazzed up and hit Dirty Sixth so we could shake our stuff and dance the night away. No inhibitions, just loving to dance...and most likely hoping to meet some hot guys along the way as well. I mean, come on! We were young and looking for fun!!!

Now while it is normal to go to a club to dance, I know dancing in other places is not quite so normal. I love to dance in the car or while I am home by myself and no one is watching. (It's crazy how good it feels to be silly or do something fun without the worry of being judged!)

But where I really get the urge to dance is while I am freaking shopping. Tell me I am not the only one?! I sit there perusing the clearance racks and over the intercom a song comes on that just makes me want to boogie down. And so subtly, I do a bit of hip thrusting because I just can't help myself and it puts me in a great mood. Mind you, the people who are usually shopping with me- like my mom- look at me like I am a NUT.

Am I a nut for wanting to dance around when I hear a great song? Even if it is in the middle of a store? I think not. Not like I am doing some break-dancing or anything! HAHA

I think it keeps life fun and if it makes me feel good and does not harm others, then why the heck not? So the next time you are with me and we are listening to some jams, just let me know if you are up for a boogie-down session because I always am!

My motto: Live life freely and without judgments. It's hard, I know. But it wouldn't be worth it if it was easy. :) Now dance like no one's watching!

Until next time....xoxo Mel

A Little Bit About Me!

I've always had a passion for writing even from a young age. I used to write story books as a child and then when I hit high school, I discovered newspaper and yearbook and I instantly fell in love. I enjoyed the process so much of writing someone's story, from coming up with the questions to ask, to interviewing them and then to creating the final product. (And as all writers know, coming up with those first few sentences of a story can be the hardest!!) I would eagerly await to hear what they thought of how I portrayed them through my words. Sometimes I saw tears of joy and sometimes I saw wide smiles, but I always saw and felt appreciation from the person(s) for eloquently sharing their story. It gave me a sense of pride and made me feel like I was giving back by sharing people's stories with their communities.

I think everyone has a desire to have their story heard. People want to feel understood and empathized with in this crazy fast-paced world. Even I, the writer who loves to share others stories, would like to share my story with the world someday. Maybe that is why I finally decided to start this blog. Lord knows I have been through more than I could have ever imagined. I've been in the lowest lows and I've been in some of the greatest highs of my life. But I know one thing for certain- each of these moments has ultimately led me to where I am today. And I am so utterly grateful for all that I have in my life. My family is my world. My husband is my rock. My step-daughter keeps me on my toes and my precious five month old son reminds me that each day is a new beginning from the moment he opens his eyes and smiles at me coyly. And I can't forget the friends who have stood by my side through thick and then- because we all need one or two friends who we know will always have our back, will never judge and will love you unconditionally.

Now while I have some wildly entertaining stories I could share with the world, I will save those for later. I am an introvert most of the time but if you ask me a question, I will always answer honestly and openly. So oddly enough, I am an open book but I don't always get to share the pages of my books. So hopefully I will get this opportunity here. If you stopped by to read my blog at all, I appreciate it! My hopes for this blog: to share my stories with the world so that they can better understand where I come from and why I am the way I am, to share precious moments I witness from my growing-like-a-weed son so that he can one day read about how much his mom loves him, and to perhaps make a difference in someone else's life by sharing my stories and making them realize that they are not alone. We all struggle....we all love....we all dream...the key to this is WE. Let's not forget that. We are all in this together.

Until next time....xoxo Mel