If you know me well, you know I have suffered from migraines since I was 9 years old. I can still remember the first migraine I experienced. It was at my uncle's wedding reception... I remember curling in a ball in a chair in the back of the room. The music was so loud and my head was pounding out of control. It was horrible, and for a child, it was a "why me?!" moment. I could tell relatives felt so bad for me as they would constantly check on me but no one could help. All I could do was let it run its course. I even got sick in the car on the way home...brutal memories but inevitably, the beginning of the end for me.
A lot of people silently suffer from the pain of migraines. I empathize with them all. Because of migraines I have missed lifetime events in my friends and family's lives. I've also missed countless hours of work and spent many days writhing in pain in my bed with no relief. Heck, I even got fired from a job for missing due to my migraines. It's hard when people don't understand or don't "believe" you. I can whole-heartedly say that if I have missed something for a migraine, I wasn't using it as an excuse to get out of things. That's just not me. Before I had my first migraine, I was a student with perfect attendance. As you can imagine, I will never be a perfect attendance kinda gal again unless I find a cure for these migraines!
It's tough living with the constant pain. And of course everyone thinks they have a cure for me. It's really sweet that people care and I love hearing if something worked for someone else that I might have not tried. I do know that I have literally tried everything under the sun: drink more water, cut out caffeine, workout, go to the chiropractor, get shots in the back of my head, get Botox, try acupuncture, try yoga, etc etc. Not to mention ALL the BAZILLIONS of medications I have tried over the years. Sometimes I would get a little relief, but nothing ever stuck.
Now here I am at 31 and still suffering from almost a daily headache. Migraines run in my family- my grandmother has them and her mother had them also. My grandmother will be 87 this March and she STILL suffers from migraines. I can't tell you how much that scares the shit out of me. I could possibly be in for 50+ more years of dealing with migraines. Insert sad face HERE. Dealing with the headache pain was one of the reasons I was not even sure if I wanted my own kids. I know you are not supposed to live life worrying about the what ifs, but the last thing I would EVER want to do in life is give my children migraines. It's a tough course in life to travel and I wouldn't wish them on ANYONE.
I must say, though, it is true that children bring out the best in you. I am happy to say that even though I still get a daily ache in my head, my migraines has gone down quite a bit as of recently. (I used to get at least one bad stay-in-your-bed-all-day migraine a month.) Even when my head is giving me a fight for my sanity, all I have to do is look into Aiden's beautiful sweet eyes and the pain truly melts away. I knew if I chose to raise children it would be difficult and I would need a lot of support from my husband, especially on days I would be stuck in bed in pain. I am blessed to say I have an army of support in helping to raise Aiden so I don't have to feel guilty when my head hurts and I can't be 100% myself. Now if only I could find a cure for my migraines that doesn't involve chopping off my head! ;)
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