My life has changed in ways I never knew it could,
Ask me five years ago where I saw myself, and I wouldn't have known where I stood.
So I come to you today to share,
How I discovered love in ways that are rare.
My hope is that even if your life does not go as planned,
you can see how the unexpected in life is incredibly grand.
I Never Knew the overwhelming love of having a child until I had my little boy,
There is no way to describe it except that nothing brings me more happiness and joy.
I Never Knew at age 31 I would be raising a teenage girl and a baby boy all at one time,
But these moments will define me and show that through everything we will still make it through just fine.
I Never Knew all the struggles that I would face- from family to money issues- hey we have all been there,
Yet these struggles only make me stronger, more prepared and less unaware.
I Never Knew how watching my husband being a father would make my heart blossom,
From the gentle way he helps with homework to the way he makes them laugh is incredibly awesome.
I Never Knew I'd get so lucky in life to have a whole-hearted family to love,
Because you see it hasn't been easy
But What in Life that is worth living forever is.....
So I leave you with this- remember, I am still learning too,
When Life has you down and you think things aren't going your way,
The "never knew" can truly make tomorrow a better day.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Being a Parent is No Joke!!!
When I first thought of writing
this blog about how tough it is to be a parent, I was planning on focusing on
all the issues you encounter regarding a new edition to the home (i.e. Baby
Aiden). But while being a parent to a baby has its ups and downs, I think one
of the HARDEST parts of being a parent comes during the teenage years.
If you know me, I am a pretty open book. If you ask me something, I answer honestly and probably overshare. Oh well- get used to it! That said, this is a really tough topic, so I’ll talk about it in the most sensitive way I can.
These days, kids can be meaner than ever to each other and to themselves. These days, there are more sad kids than happy kids. And these days, there are more kids who have suicidal thoughts than ever before.
Recently, one of my step-daughter's friends took her life. It is an unbelievable tragedy that no parent should ever have to endure. This girl was LOVED sooooo much but she didn't see it. Sadly, all she saw was the pain in her heart that she could not heal on her own. She was lost and had nowhere to turn.
All I know is we have got to help these kids. We have got to stop telling these kids every damn thing they do wrong and start appreciating them for their differences and work on lifting them up. By beating our kids down, we are essentially creating incredibly insecure adults. (Speaking from experience). I know parents mean well, but what if we had someone who nitpicked us for everything we did wrong? It would piss us off and we would become defensive, right? I feel like that is all teenagers are doing when they are accused of something- but if they defend themselves we call it backtalk? In what working world does your boss tell you something and then not allow you to speak because it is backtalk? Not any working world I have been in, so how is this helping our kids? I definitely do not have all the answers but I do know that silencing our children doesn't work. All silencing them does is cause them to bury the pain- pain that will inevitably resurface in other ways at some point.
Sunday night my sweet beautiful step-daughter attempted to take her life. Thank God she was unsuccessful. Thank goodness she reached out for help and is now getting the help she needs. But it doesn't take away from the gravity of the situation. We all want her to be happy and healthy, but in spite of our best efforts and intentions she still is in deep emotional turmoil. So, while she is getting the help she needs, I think it is important that the parents (hey, I know this includes me) take a step back and figure out how we can improve our parenting. We need to figure out more positive and honest ways to engage with her. All relationships are two-way streets that require work from both people in order to improve, but all too often we expect our kids to do all the growing, all the learning, and all the work. Life doesn't work that way. If our kids accidentally cuss or break something- or whatever else brings out that instant urge for us to shut them down- please, let’s take a step back and breath and realize that we all make mistakes.
We all grow and we all learn. But from what I can tell, silencing kids is only leading to them wanting to permanently silence themselves.
If you know me, I am a pretty open book. If you ask me something, I answer honestly and probably overshare. Oh well- get used to it! That said, this is a really tough topic, so I’ll talk about it in the most sensitive way I can.
These days, kids can be meaner than ever to each other and to themselves. These days, there are more sad kids than happy kids. And these days, there are more kids who have suicidal thoughts than ever before.
Recently, one of my step-daughter's friends took her life. It is an unbelievable tragedy that no parent should ever have to endure. This girl was LOVED sooooo much but she didn't see it. Sadly, all she saw was the pain in her heart that she could not heal on her own. She was lost and had nowhere to turn.
All I know is we have got to help these kids. We have got to stop telling these kids every damn thing they do wrong and start appreciating them for their differences and work on lifting them up. By beating our kids down, we are essentially creating incredibly insecure adults. (Speaking from experience). I know parents mean well, but what if we had someone who nitpicked us for everything we did wrong? It would piss us off and we would become defensive, right? I feel like that is all teenagers are doing when they are accused of something- but if they defend themselves we call it backtalk? In what working world does your boss tell you something and then not allow you to speak because it is backtalk? Not any working world I have been in, so how is this helping our kids? I definitely do not have all the answers but I do know that silencing our children doesn't work. All silencing them does is cause them to bury the pain- pain that will inevitably resurface in other ways at some point.
Sunday night my sweet beautiful step-daughter attempted to take her life. Thank God she was unsuccessful. Thank goodness she reached out for help and is now getting the help she needs. But it doesn't take away from the gravity of the situation. We all want her to be happy and healthy, but in spite of our best efforts and intentions she still is in deep emotional turmoil. So, while she is getting the help she needs, I think it is important that the parents (hey, I know this includes me) take a step back and figure out how we can improve our parenting. We need to figure out more positive and honest ways to engage with her. All relationships are two-way streets that require work from both people in order to improve, but all too often we expect our kids to do all the growing, all the learning, and all the work. Life doesn't work that way. If our kids accidentally cuss or break something- or whatever else brings out that instant urge for us to shut them down- please, let’s take a step back and breath and realize that we all make mistakes.
We all grow and we all learn. But from what I can tell, silencing kids is only leading to them wanting to permanently silence themselves.
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